Adult Advent Calendars might not be as dodgy as they seem

Every day inside my advent calendar there’s some stupid little joke. When I say “stupid little joke”, what I actually mean is that they’re hilariously bad and I say it out loud and Mike rolls his eyes while I giggle like a little girl. And because I like sharing, I’m going to share them with you here. You’re welcome.

Q: What do you get if you cross a snowman with a shark?
A: Frost bite!

Q: Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of trousers?
A: In case he got a hole in one!

Q: How do snowmen get around?
A: They ride an icicle!

Q: What do snowmen eat for lunch?
A: Iceburgers!

Q: What kind of paper likes music?
A: Rapping paper!

Q: What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
A: Tinsilitis!

Awesome. I bet you can’t wait for tomorrows joke.

Also inside my advent calendar are teeny little chocolates. Like, I’m talking around the same size as a babies pinky. I’m fully aware of how much of a pig this makes me, but I want a proper sized chocolate, dammit! It’s probably something to do with the fact that if they were properly sized chocolates, the main target audience of advent calendars – kids – would end up getting much fatter or something.

Or because small amounts of chocolate over a series of days would be better than huge pieces, regardless of how old you are. However! This is clearly a great product idea. Advent calendars for adults. Except, instead of porn on them, there’s grown up sized chocolate. I mean, I’m sure the porn-filled advent calendars would sell well too, but I wouldn’t buy them, and really that’s the only reason I’m excited about this idea. If you want porn filled advent calendars, go shop in an adult store or something. If they don’t have them, suggest it and make thousands over Christmas next year.


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