Christmas is coming and the geese aren’t getting fat they’re getting horizontally challenged.

Have you started Christmas shopping yet? I haven’t, which probably means this month is going to involve me screaming around the house like a mad woman. Last year, the shopping got finished about a week before the 25th and it was hell.

What’s worse is, I was all “Oh, next year I’ll be ready.” It’s next year now, brain! Where’s all your damn motivation?!

Oh, that’s right, in the same place it is for cleaning the house, getting healthy and writing every day…

Next year, I’ll be ready. Promise.

Christmas cards, on the other hand – I’m totally getting there. I always make my Christmas cards for my immediate family, because I’m a giant dork, and I’m sure my parents are always ‘oh god, another one of Sarah’s homemade cards, whhyy doesn’t she just buy them from the store like a normal person?’ but, hey, I’m a terrible daughter who likes to torture her family with badly made cards.

This year, I’m making one card for all my friends as well, only I’m being a bit lazy and just making one design with a slight variation on each. But, what’s even better is, I’m incorporating the spirit of the impending apocolypse by drawing zombies wearing Christmas hats on them. Here’s a rough sketch of what will eventually be the best Christmas cards ever:

Festive and topical.

My local supermarket has had carol singers in the entrance collecting money for charity and the Santa looks painfully miserable. Though, when I went in it was at the end of their shift so he was doing his shopping still in full costume and it was awesome! Santa shops at Sainsbury’s, everyone! He buys six packs of booze and cheap baked beans! I wanted to take a photo but thought it would be a bit creepy to take a photo of some guy in the supermarket, even if he was Santa. Even Mr. Claus needs some time off, especially this time of year.

I wasn’t nervous about the impending doom until I wrote this. Only 19 more days until the end of the world! And by that, I mean Christmas.